Despite all of our country’s progresses in regard to women’s rights and freedoms there comes a point where we have to ask the question; How “equal” do women really want to be?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no woman hater…I am, however, a realist. All things being equal in a relationship, a man should and would be expected to do the cooking, cleaning, washing, etc as needed if it fit better into his schedule than hers. (Right now I can hear feminists clapping and cheering.) BUT: All things being equal in a relationship, a woman should and would be expected to be the primary wage earner, protect the household, do repairs, take the trash out, etc as needed if it fit better into her schedule than his. (Wait…why did it get so quiet?)
Like I said before, I’m no woman hater…I’m a realist. The reality is (whether you choose to accept it or not) that GENERALLY SPEAKING the male is usually stronger, more physically intimidating, and socially groomed to accept certain tasks more willingly than others. By that same measure GENERALLY SPEAKING the female is usually more nurturing, a better multitasker, and socially groomed to accept certain tasks more than others.
It is not at all to say that women can’t take trash out or that men can’t to dishes but let’s be honest; how many ladies view taking the trash out to be a “man’s job” (and I mean in your head, not vocally…don’t worry, I’m not judging you)? How many guys view doing dishes to be a “woman’s job” (don’t start getting defensive now, I made the men the target first!)?
Dictionary.com defines feminism as “the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.” I am in full support of the spirit of this but I take issue with the fact that it is basically impossible…wait and let me explain.
Dictionary.com defines equal as “1.as great as; the same as 2.like or alike in quantity, degree, value, etc.; of the same rank, ability, merit, etc. 3.evenly proportioned or balanced” while it defines equivalent as “1.equal in value, measure, force, effect, significance, etc.2.corresponding in position, function, etc.”
That ever so slight splinter of a difference (go ahead and re-read them) is like the splinter in your eye…didn’t seem like a big deal until it was in a very sensitive, vital location. Men and women are not (and never will be) the same…
1.it doesn’t even make sense to expect us to be. if we were, we’d be asexual (and really…would that be any fun???).
2.”like or alike in quantity…” really?
So is this like The Soviet Union vs The U.S. of A. in the space race? Are we playing dominoes? No? Well why the competition? I understand that men have kept women down for centuries and centuries but to compare every accomplishment that women have with that of a man is a little juvenille…isn’t it? Now as for equivalent, it says “equal in value…corresponding in position…” Isn’t that preferential? Not racing each other but on the same level as each other, “fair & balanced” (to borrow part of Faux News’s tagline).
I don’t expect you to do the dishes and wash the clothes just because you have two legs not three…but don’t expect me to take the garbage out just because I have three legs not two…
😉
El Negro
Mr. Analytical 
July 28th, 2011 at 8:01 PM
I took a couple days to respond to your comment so that I could give you a full reply.
1. [this argument of “fair and balanced” reminds me of “separate but equal,”]
The parallel you draw between these two phrases is really your own and has nothing to do with the context in which it was actually used. “Not racing each other but on the same level as each other, ‘fair & balanced'” was the language used.
2. [he’s saying that equality boils down to whoever has more flexibility in schedule should do that sort of work but]
Here you’re putting words into my mouth (although you seem to be getting my point) then here comes the “but”
3. [this 1. leaves out that taking out the trash and protecting the home (the two “man’s jobs”) don’t take any time at all but the “women’s jobs” of cooking, cleaning and washing require time and effort so this is already unbalanced. these “jobs” that socially appropriate for men aren’t really work at all, but that doesn’t increase the value of women are doing]
You’re personalizing what I was saying instead of asking. I only used the garbage & dishes analogy as examples. It could have easily been “fixing the toilet & sweeping the floor” or “mowing the grass & changing the sheets” (although, I doubt it would have had the same ring). Relax, it wasn’t written as an overly serious commentary on the state of relationships between men raised by single mothers and women raised by single fathers…it was just a basic social commentary on expectations in relationships.
4. [this argument also leaves out the larger socialtal trends that women aren’t paid an equal wage for equal work, that women are tracked into lower paying professions and that their schedule and work is disrespected and undervalued regardless of what they do. equality can’t be discussed without acknowledging the reality of how much work women are expected to do in the home (even when they are working outside of the home too!) is completely out of whack with what men are expected to do in the same situation. dismissing the facts of women’s “second shift” by noting that women have been oppressed for centuries is ridiculous and typical of sexist thinking.]
I grouped the last part together for a reason. You OBVIOUSLY have some anger issues that need to be resolved. That is not to take away from the valid points you made in this rather LARGE section…but what did it have to do with anything I said?
YES: many women are treated unfairly in the workplace in regard to pay and opportunities
YES: it is immoral, unethical, an illegal
NO: I do NOT support that type of treatment in any way/shape/form
YES: you do need to take those concerns to your own blog and I will support you in that because if you had REALLY read what I wrote with an open mind instead of trying to find flaws in my argument, you would have noticed that I was saying basically “be fair and treat people how you want to be treated”.
If you were really about fairness you would notice that I made no mention of what EITHER partner did outside if the home because it had nothing to do with the point I was making. I didn’t address where either worked in skilled/unskilled labor, white collar work or even if they worked at all.
Notice how quick you were to call me sexist while you started devaluing this non-existent man. Isn’t that kind of sexist in itself?
July 26th, 2011 at 2:22 PM
this argument of “fair and balanced” reminds me of “separate but equal,” he’s saying that equality boils down to whoever has more flexibility in schedule should do that sort of work but this 1. leaves out that taking out the trash and protecting the home (the two “man’s jobs”) don’t take any time at all but the “women’s jobs” of cooking, cleaning and washing require time and effort so this is already unbalanced. these “jobs” that socially appropriate for men aren’t really work at all, but that doesn’t increase the value of women are doing, this argument also leaves out the larger socialtal trends that women aren’t paid an equal wage for equal work, that women are tracked into lower paying professions and that their schedule and work is disrespected and undervalued regardless of what they do. equality can’t be discussed without acknowledging the reality of how much work women are expected to do in the home (even when they are working outside of the home too!) is completely out of whack with what men are expected to do in the same situation. dismissing the facts of women’s “second shift” by noting that women have been oppressed for centuries is ridiculous and typical of sexist thinking.
July 24th, 2011 at 11:08 PM
Before getting defensive you should attempt to read what is posted from the author’s standpoint. It is not intended to dismiss the civil rights movement (which I have been exposed to more than you seem to give me credit for) nor the feminist movement. It is actually attempting to say that everything in life requires some balance and that there are times when both seem to forget that simple fact.
Also, it is written with a sense of humor…please use yours, life is too short not too
July 24th, 2011 at 10:56 PM
before making judgements about the feminist or civil rights movements in the 21st century or at all you should do some research first. You shouldn’t speak from pedjudice but from knowledge.
July 22nd, 2011 at 12:01 PM
I do agree
July 22nd, 2011 at 11:07 AM
I totally agree with the gender “roles” and what you mentioned about equality. The femenist movement is to me like NAACP, what they stand for or are trying to do in todays society is not relevant anymore……in my opinion. I do think that equality in the workplace is something that needs attention but it should not carry over to the home.