Finally…

I think that I may have just gotten to the point where I’ve accepted who I am as a person, how I think/behave, and why I do the things that I do…finally.

It’s been a long road getting here and a lot of painful lessons were (still are) required. While I may no longer know what I want in life, professionally and personally, I’ve accepted that not knowing is just fine.

Now begins the path to work on being the best dad I can and maximizing my self-growth opportunities. Having shot and gutted my first dear yesterday there’s a lot more room for improvement. My feelings about it are uncomfortably non-existent (more on this some other time🤷🏿‍♂️).

Working this second job is a test to see how much more I’m capable of doing to better my life and the life of my kids. Picking up trash is a humbling experience. Some people look down on labor workers, especially those who have to deal with the nastiest things in our society.

What I do for my real job, the level of work I’ve done before, and what I’m capable of doing don’t matter here…just make sure you pick those bags all up and clean up that neighborhood. It makes you rethink what you may have assumed of others working dirty labor jobs. Who are they, what else have they done, who have they helped, how did they get into doing this job?

If I’m honest with myself I’ve been judgmental of strangers based on the work they are doing as well. While it may or may not have been intentional (haven’t sorted that part out yet), I’m definitely guilty AF.

Who TF am I to judge the next man or woman based on something so trivial as a current job? They’re still a human and contributing member of our society. How does a job make them any better or worse than someone else?…than me even?

This shit is about to get interesting…just hoping that I make myself express this thoughts for later consumption.

(BTW, there’s so much more about other things I haven’t fully digested yet so I don’t know what to say)