Category Archives: Relationships

Ever Donated Some Dick/Pussy Before? Some Friend YOU Are!

Call me crazy, but friends don’t let friends drive drunk suffer having dry dick/pussy…it’s just not a friendly thing to do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to fuck everyone you know, just maybe some of them on an as-needed basis depending on the dynamics of your friendship and each of your situations.

We are supposed to care about the happyness of the people we call friends, so why not toss them a little piece of pussy or dick to help them get through their dry spell? WWJD? I’m just saying, Dude was a giver.

Real friends care about their friends’ orgasms!

Consider this, you’re having a shitty day/week/life or whatever and venting to one of your best friends of the opposite sex (or same, if that’s your thing) about your struggles with having the Sahara Desert in your pants…life is sucking, and not in the good way either. Suddenly, and without warning, your homie suggests to you that y’all take this convo to the room because it became clear to them that you “got a little attitudinal problem needs some readjustin’“, as Major Payne would put it, but with better tools used. All of a sudden, this day has gone from shit to shimmer because of a friend doing what friends do, looking out for each others’ best interests. See how easy it was to turn that frown upside down?

Now don’t start looking at me sideways, I get that not everyone can separate the act from the emotion. There are numerous barriers to applying this fix; what if emotions get tangled up, or if someone gives the other an unwanted sexually transmitted gift like a baby, what if you want to look out but the way your relationship status is setup that isn’t socially acceptable, maybe they have a bit of a crush on you already (or you do on them), and about a million other potential problems. Trying this is NOT for everyone, so beware of the risks associated with doing said deed and if you make moves do so with intention. That being said, if isn’t unreasonable for you to do so, hook ya nigga/ette up with a little trim or pipe and click that reset button on their mood right quick.


Dishes & Garbage

Despite all of our country’s progresses in regard to women’s rights and freedoms there comes a point where we have to ask the question; How “equal” do women really want to be?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no woman hater…I am, however, a realist. All things being equal in a relationship, a man should and would be expected to do the cooking, cleaning, washing, etc as needed if it fit better into his schedule than hers. (Right now I can hear feminists clapping and cheering.) BUT: All things being equal in a relationship, a woman should and would be expected to be the primary wage earner, protect the household, do repairs, take the trash out, etc as needed if it fit better into her schedule than his. (Wait…why did it get so quiet?)

Like I said before, I’m no woman hater…I’m a realist. The reality is (whether you choose to accept it or not) that GENERALLY SPEAKING the male is usually stronger, more physically intimidating, and socially groomed to accept certain tasks more willingly than others. By that same measure GENERALLY SPEAKING the female is usually more nurturing, a better multitasker, and socially groomed to accept certain tasks more than others.

It is not at all to say that women can’t take trash out or that men can’t to dishes but let’s be honest; how many ladies view taking the trash out to be a “man’s job” (and I mean in your head, not vocally…don’t worry, I’m not judging you)? How many guys view doing dishes to be a “woman’s job” (don’t start getting defensive now, I made the men the target first!)?

Dictionary.com defines feminism as “the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.” I am in full support of the spirit of this but I take issue with the fact that it is basically impossible…wait and let me explain.

Dictionary.com defines equal as “1.as great as; the same as 2.like or alike in quantity, degree, value, etc.; of the same rank, ability, merit, etc. 3.evenly proportioned or balanced” while it defines equivalent as “1.equal in value, measure, force, effect, significance, etc.2.corresponding in position, function, etc.”

That ever so slight splinter of a difference (go ahead and re-read them) is like the splinter in your eye…didn’t seem like a big deal until it was in a very sensitive, vital location. Men and women are not (and never will be) the same…
1.it doesn’t even make sense to expect us to be. if we were, we’d be asexual (and really…would that be any fun???).
2.”like or alike in quantity…” really?
So is this like The Soviet Union vs The U.S. of A. in the space race? Are we playing dominoes? No? Well why the competition? I understand that men have kept women down for centuries and centuries but to compare every accomplishment that women have with that of a man is a little juvenille…isn’t it? Now as for equivalent, it says “equal in value…corresponding in position…” Isn’t that preferential? Not racing each other but on the same level as each other, “fair & balanced” (to borrow part of Faux News’s tagline).

I don’t expect you to do the dishes and wash the clothes just because you have two legs not three…but don’t expect me to take the garbage out just because I have three legs not two…

😉

El Negro